we could do with some more poison!

why do weekends go by so insanely fast? i hate it. i attended the wedding of a ridiculously distant relative, and i might as well have been a wedding crasher because i knew basically no one besides my grandparents, and aunt and uncle. it wasn't all bad though.

buuuut anyways, it got me thinking about things, namely weddings. and things i like and don't like about them. so because i love lists, here's my 2 cents on all things matrimonial.

+open bars: bless the individual who came up with this idea, i tell you! and since it was a wedding (read: lax bartenders) i found myself unnecessarily drunk on a white russian, southern comfort old-fashioned, two glasses of champagne and some wine. however, it was SO awkward being drunk around my family members. even worse than that was that my mother was drunk as well. it was a mess, but in the best sense. it made the wedding that much more bearable though, so kudos to open bars.

-the bride and groom shoving cake in each other's faces: i was so so glad that this bride and groom were tasteful about it and cutely fed each other rather than making a huge gross immature spectacle. at all of the other weddings i've been to, i can barely stand when the cutting of the cake comes because it's so friggin' TACKY when they turn it into a food fight. grow up, please!

+eye-fucking the shit out of random hot guests: at this wedding, i set my sights on this random chain-smoking, semi-chubby dude with a goatee. nothing more came of it than the glorious eye sex (though i secretly hoped for a random bathroom tryst or something...uh whaaat?) but it is undeniably awesome to keep up a mystique and flirt with anonymous people.

+hors d'oeuvres: little lobster sandwiches and stuffed mushrooms? i'm in. i mean, i could even do without the main course...just give me those lil' snacks all night along with some cheese and crackers and i'm set.

-awkward conversations with random relatives and other people: i mean, sometimes it's fine (see my next point), but when the conversations are peppered with awkward silences every 10 seconds and i have no idea how i'm related to this person, i basically want to run away. ugh.

+actually meeting interesting people: there was this older guy (like, my dad's age or older) sitting at our table and we got into like a half-hour long conversation about "so you think you can dance?" and britney spears. this dude was HIP. loved it.

-other random unnecessary tacky shit: case in point, one of the groomsmen performing karaoke to ja rule's "put it on me"...i wanted to vomit. and the bride and groom's first dance was to savage garden's "i knew i loved you before i met you". i mean, i'm sorry, but that shouldn't be any couple's "song". get real, people. ah, i can't wait to plan my wedding.

that's about it. OH, and i'm also randomly obsessed with this song by test icicles. it's one of those listen-to-on-repeat-10-times-a-day things. it sounds basically like the blood brothers or the kinison met bloc party and had a dance party. literally. the shouted chorus just rules. check it ouuuuut. (sidenote, break me off a piece of the first & third boy PLEASE)

TEST ICICLES- CIRCLE, SQUARE, TRIANGLE

yeah!